Advicenators

[bobquasit]

I've been getting active on Advicenators again, lately. In fact, I've been considering starting up an LJ community for Advicenators moderators to discuss the questions on the site.

Anyway, I got a question, one of the many that get asked over and over. And I'm not sure, but I think I like my answer. Dorky though it is.

The question was (paraphrased) "What do guys prefer in a girl: face or body? That is, would you prefer a great face and okay body, or great body and okay face?"

My answer:

You left out personality.

I can't speak for every other guy, but for me, personality is probably the biggest factor. I've known girls who by most definitions were overweight and not that pretty, but men CLUSTERED around them, ignoring girls who were technically prettier.

And more than anything else, I think it was because those girls were a lot nicer and friendlier than the others. There's one that I remember in particular who had a smile that just knocked every guy who saw it out.

Of course, some guys are pigs. But I think that even they would prefer a girl with a nice personality over one with the best looks or body, unless they were looking for a one-night-stand or a hooker.

Because a body you only really see when her clothes come off. A face you see most of the time. But a personality is ALWAYS there. In the dark. When you're in different rooms. Over the phone. Whenever.

In the end, we all want to feel loved. The face and body are secondary.

Comments

[zarhooie.livejournal.com]

I agree 110%. Seriously. At least, that's what the geek percentage would have you believe.

Normal males are actually evenly split between body and face. :)

[bobquasit.livejournal.com]

Normal males are actually evenly split between body and face. :)

I think you're right. Which is yet another reason I'm glad I wasn't born female. I'd hate having to try to find a decent guy from amongst the general population of pigs.

Although I suspect I'd have made a hell of a woman!

[dancing-kiralee.livejournal.com]

I think it's true, although I also think there is a very real "visual" factor at work with guys which isn't as ignorable as some women might like.

But I think, in some ways, your answer leaves something out... What does a good personality look like? How do I get one?

One of the things many of the people who are asking this question are looking for is a dating strategy - how to I atract and / or avoid atracting guys. Most of these people can find strategies to prettify face or body, but lack the resources to do everything all at once. They're asking, where should I put my resources? What does the most good?

In that context, your answer is in left field... I still like it, it's a direct answer to the question, and it's accurate. But it might be a better answer with a little information added.

...although I have to admit that one of the reasons I feel that way is that the information out there about how personality affects romance is, IMHO, so bad.

Kiralee

[bobquasit.livejournal.com]

I know that I kind of weaseled the answer a bit. And if I had been strictly honest...you know, I just can't choose. A face, a body, either can be powerfully attractive. But neither compares to kindness and that indefinable chemistry.

As for how a person could develop a pleasing personality...damned if I know. If I did, I'd have one myself!

You know, there's another factor which I'd probably place above either face or body (although below personality), and that's smell. A long time ago I read an interesting article about genetics and body odor; apparently we are programmed to be attracted towards the smell of a person with mitochondrial DNA that's most different from our own. In some cases, the smell of a perfect match can actually have highly aphrodisiac properties - and not just because of pheromones. The scientists who authored the study were going to develop a process to match people by mitochondrial DNA. But if anything ever came of it, I never heard about it.