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WHY?!?
Kashi. High protein & high fiber. "Crunchy Fiber Twigs, Soy Protein Grahams, and Honey Puffs" - but I don't taste the honey.
Carrots.
An apple.
One small "meal", every three hours.
Shredded wheat and skim milk at 6:30 AM.
Kashi and skim milk at 9:30 AM.
Kashi and skim milk at 12:30 PM.
Violent diarrhea at 12:49 PM (just kidding).
At 1:39 I snapped. Grabbing a handful of change from a drawer, I ran to the snack machine. Feeling like Charlie Bucket, I stared at all the offerings. Quickly I decided: Fritos! I craved that life-giving salt. With desperate speed I crammed 55 cents into the slot and pressed F1.
The spiral loop turned slowly, pushing the small bag forward to the brink. Soon it would plummet into the bottom of the machine, where I could reach it through a flap. Sweet, crunchy salt...I could already taste it. Closer to the edge, closer, c l o s e r...
Well, I've pretty much telegraphed what happened next. The damned thing stuck! And no matter how much I rocked the machine (which can lead to SEVERE INJURY OR DEATH), that damned bag stuck like glue to the loop.
I feel like I'm nailed to a cross...a cross of Fritos. And the nails are the perversity of the Universe.
I weep.
Carrots.
An apple.
One small "meal", every three hours.
Shredded wheat and skim milk at 6:30 AM.
Kashi and skim milk at 9:30 AM.
Kashi and skim milk at 12:30 PM.
Violent diarrhea at 12:49 PM (just kidding).
At 1:39 I snapped. Grabbing a handful of change from a drawer, I ran to the snack machine. Feeling like Charlie Bucket, I stared at all the offerings. Quickly I decided: Fritos! I craved that life-giving salt. With desperate speed I crammed 55 cents into the slot and pressed F1.
The spiral loop turned slowly, pushing the small bag forward to the brink. Soon it would plummet into the bottom of the machine, where I could reach it through a flap. Sweet, crunchy salt...I could already taste it. Closer to the edge, closer, c l o s e r...
Well, I've pretty much telegraphed what happened next. The damned thing stuck! And no matter how much I rocked the machine (which can lead to SEVERE INJURY OR DEATH), that damned bag stuck like glue to the loop.
I feel like I'm nailed to a cross...a cross of Fritos. And the nails are the perversity of the Universe.
I weep.