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A few more from the funny file...
Am I torturing all of you with this stuff? Let me know if I am.
"I don't like being quoted."
-- anonymous
Reply to a telemarketer: "You're not bothering me at all, I don't have a telephone"
"The Red Sox killed my father, and now they're coming after me."
"Remember when Bill Clinton was president? The federal budget ran an
unprecedented surplus. The national debt was being paid down. The
economy enjoyed unheard of growth. The stock market boomed. Wages
reached record heights. Unemployment was practically nil. The
government withheld only a bare minimum of information from the
public. Citizens were not routinely spied on. Our Bill of Rights
was at least moderately upheld. America was at peace. We were
respected in the world. Our nation's power was seen as a force for
good. Our allies trusted us. And the Republicans swore by God that
if they ran the country, things would be different. Turns out they
weren't kidding."
Here is a true story of an atheist inducted into the Army:
Army: "What do you want on your dog tags, soldier: Protestant,
Catholic, or Jew?"
Atheist: "None. I'm an atheist."
Army: "If you are wounded in battle, who should we call: a minister,
a priest or a rabbi?"
Atheist: "Call a medic!"
"I don't like being quoted."
-- anonymous
Reply to a telemarketer: "You're not bothering me at all, I don't have a telephone"
"The Red Sox killed my father, and now they're coming after me."
"Remember when Bill Clinton was president? The federal budget ran an
unprecedented surplus. The national debt was being paid down. The
economy enjoyed unheard of growth. The stock market boomed. Wages
reached record heights. Unemployment was practically nil. The
government withheld only a bare minimum of information from the
public. Citizens were not routinely spied on. Our Bill of Rights
was at least moderately upheld. America was at peace. We were
respected in the world. Our nation's power was seen as a force for
good. Our allies trusted us. And the Republicans swore by God that
if they ran the country, things would be different. Turns out they
weren't kidding."
Here is a true story of an atheist inducted into the Army:
Army: "What do you want on your dog tags, soldier: Protestant,
Catholic, or Jew?"
Atheist: "None. I'm an atheist."
Army: "If you are wounded in battle, who should we call: a minister,
a priest or a rabbi?"
Atheist: "Call a medic!"