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Trains
Been a while, hasn't it? I've been away. But I'm back now.
The story of our trip will come later, but first, here's some other stuff. I actually wrote a fair-sized post about this topic last week, but when I tried to post it to LiveJournal something happened and the entry was lost. Annoying.
As I mentioned earlier, I've been driving Sebastian up to my parents twice a week. But that's an 80-minute drive at best, and can take as long as two hours (each way) on bad days. Traffic congestion is increasing, and people are getting crazier.
So we'd like to get Sebastian used to taking the train, instead. But how would he take it? We weren't sure. My folks had taken him on a trolley once or two a while ago, but the last time they'd tried it he'd screamed so hard that they had to give up.
It's hard to know what's right; if we didn't put him on the train his fear of it might "harden", so to speak, and perhaps even become a phobia; on the other hand, if we put him on a train when he was terrified, we might traumatize him and give him a phobia that way. What to do?
Two weeks ago I had a conversation with Teri. She was picking me up at the usual station, which is one stop away from the end of the line; this time she'd hand me Sebastian, and he and I would ride to the end of the line. She'd drive there and meet us.
She got to the station early, but there was an unexpected complication: Sebastian had fallen asleep in the car. He woke up shortly before my train pulled in, however, and Teri passed him to me as I stepped off the train.
I tried to appear happy and cheerful, but I was actually pretty nervous. As I carried Sebastian onto "Daddy train", his eyes got huge. The train started to move, and tears began to pour out. Within moments he was begging for "Mumma, Mumma, Mumma!". He was utterly terrified.
I tried to calm him down by talking to him and smiling at him, but he was just too upset. I took him up and down a two-story car; there were moments when the sobbing paused for a moment, but then tears would well up again and the hysterical crying resumed. There weren't that many people on the train, but several of the passengers gave me angry looks.
I showed him the on-train bathroom, which earned me about five seconds of silence, but then the sobbing started up again. Finally we reached the station (the whole ride took no more than ten minutes), and I took him off.
He was still very upset. He wanted Teri, and nothing else would do. The crying quieted, but was clearly ready to start again at any moment. A conducter talked to him a bit, and gave him some tickets to play with, but Sebastian didn't want to cooperate.
I got us walking towards the front of the train, so we could cross the tracks and get to the side that Teri would be arriving on. I could have far more easily crossed inside the train itself, but Sebastian was much too upset to go into the train again, even for a moment.
The engineer passed us as we were walking; he was very friendly, and invited us to come up to the front of the train to ring the bell and toot the horn. The dream of a lifetime for any boy!
But Sebastian was just too scared. The engineer rang the bell for him as we watched from outside, but even though he was interested, he made it very clear that he would not be participating. We finally had to quickly run through the train - right in front of all the controls, so cool - and he cried even for that brief run.
But soon after Teri arrived on the scene, to general rejoicing. We took him home, and I worried all the way. Because I would have to take him on the train soon, not just for a few minutes, but for nearly an hour in a heavy crowd.
The next Monday, though, Teri gave me a call. She wanted to come up on the train with Sebastian and visit me. I was surprised, very pleased, and also worried. I could just see my baby boy working himself up to the point of vomiting all over the train. :S
But in fact, the ride went really well. He was really happy to see me and my parents at the station. And the next Thursday Sebastian and I took the train up all by ourselves.
He was great; looking out the window, talking to me, laughing...just wonderful. On the way back home that night he did get a bit difficult; it was late (a 7:30 train), and he was tired and cranky. For the last six or seven stops he kept demanding to get out, and at the last three he made a major effort to break my grip on him and make a run out the doors. But we made it to "Daddy station", and once we got off the train he was fine.
And now he really wants to go on the train. When they dropped me off at the station this morning he asked to come with me; he was really disappointed that he couldn't come. He called me four times this morning, asking to go on the train; he also said "Come home, oh please!", which just about broke my heart.
We'll take the train tomorrow.
The story of our trip will come later, but first, here's some other stuff. I actually wrote a fair-sized post about this topic last week, but when I tried to post it to LiveJournal something happened and the entry was lost. Annoying.
As I mentioned earlier, I've been driving Sebastian up to my parents twice a week. But that's an 80-minute drive at best, and can take as long as two hours (each way) on bad days. Traffic congestion is increasing, and people are getting crazier.
So we'd like to get Sebastian used to taking the train, instead. But how would he take it? We weren't sure. My folks had taken him on a trolley once or two a while ago, but the last time they'd tried it he'd screamed so hard that they had to give up.
It's hard to know what's right; if we didn't put him on the train his fear of it might "harden", so to speak, and perhaps even become a phobia; on the other hand, if we put him on a train when he was terrified, we might traumatize him and give him a phobia that way. What to do?
Two weeks ago I had a conversation with Teri. She was picking me up at the usual station, which is one stop away from the end of the line; this time she'd hand me Sebastian, and he and I would ride to the end of the line. She'd drive there and meet us.
She got to the station early, but there was an unexpected complication: Sebastian had fallen asleep in the car. He woke up shortly before my train pulled in, however, and Teri passed him to me as I stepped off the train.
I tried to appear happy and cheerful, but I was actually pretty nervous. As I carried Sebastian onto "Daddy train", his eyes got huge. The train started to move, and tears began to pour out. Within moments he was begging for "Mumma, Mumma, Mumma!". He was utterly terrified.
I tried to calm him down by talking to him and smiling at him, but he was just too upset. I took him up and down a two-story car; there were moments when the sobbing paused for a moment, but then tears would well up again and the hysterical crying resumed. There weren't that many people on the train, but several of the passengers gave me angry looks.
I showed him the on-train bathroom, which earned me about five seconds of silence, but then the sobbing started up again. Finally we reached the station (the whole ride took no more than ten minutes), and I took him off.
He was still very upset. He wanted Teri, and nothing else would do. The crying quieted, but was clearly ready to start again at any moment. A conducter talked to him a bit, and gave him some tickets to play with, but Sebastian didn't want to cooperate.
I got us walking towards the front of the train, so we could cross the tracks and get to the side that Teri would be arriving on. I could have far more easily crossed inside the train itself, but Sebastian was much too upset to go into the train again, even for a moment.
The engineer passed us as we were walking; he was very friendly, and invited us to come up to the front of the train to ring the bell and toot the horn. The dream of a lifetime for any boy!
But Sebastian was just too scared. The engineer rang the bell for him as we watched from outside, but even though he was interested, he made it very clear that he would not be participating. We finally had to quickly run through the train - right in front of all the controls, so cool - and he cried even for that brief run.
But soon after Teri arrived on the scene, to general rejoicing. We took him home, and I worried all the way. Because I would have to take him on the train soon, not just for a few minutes, but for nearly an hour in a heavy crowd.
The next Monday, though, Teri gave me a call. She wanted to come up on the train with Sebastian and visit me. I was surprised, very pleased, and also worried. I could just see my baby boy working himself up to the point of vomiting all over the train. :S
But in fact, the ride went really well. He was really happy to see me and my parents at the station. And the next Thursday Sebastian and I took the train up all by ourselves.
He was great; looking out the window, talking to me, laughing...just wonderful. On the way back home that night he did get a bit difficult; it was late (a 7:30 train), and he was tired and cranky. For the last six or seven stops he kept demanding to get out, and at the last three he made a major effort to break my grip on him and make a run out the doors. But we made it to "Daddy station", and once we got off the train he was fine.
And now he really wants to go on the train. When they dropped me off at the station this morning he asked to come with me; he was really disappointed that he couldn't come. He called me four times this morning, asking to go on the train; he also said "Come home, oh please!", which just about broke my heart.
We'll take the train tomorrow.