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Entry tags:
Nervous
I'm nervous.
Not very nervous. Really not very nervous at all. It's just that I have an appointment for my regular six-month dental cleaning tomorrow at 5, and I'm a little bit on edge.
It's much better than it used to be, of course. In the old days I'd have been staying up all night, for weeks in advance, shivering in terror (and that's not an exaggeration). Now...well, between nitrous oxide, and my experience of many cleanings and a few fillings without trouble, I'm only very slightly nervous. My forehead is slightly beaded with sweat, but that may partly be because I'm sick.
I haven't had any more pain than before; my teeth twinge now and again, but they've been doing that for twenty years. And I know that I'm hypersensitive to tooth pain, and all too ready to panic. But I also know that I have a nasty sinus infection right now, and every pain I have is the same old pain I always have when I have a sinus infection. Logic tells me that there's every reason to expect that things will be fine tomorrow, just as they've always been.
But I'm still a little nervous.
If worse comes to worst, I suppose, I might need a root canal. There's a part of me that would almost welcome that - almost. I've been dreading that for years, and it would be good to be able to finally put that fear behind me forever. And at the moment, I'm less afraid of the prospect of a root canal than I've ever been. Partly because I know so many people who've had one and been okay. Partly because my dentist told me that from my perspective it wouldn't be any different than having a cavity filled (and I believe him). But even more because last year I saw a guy who'd just had two root canals - he'd literally just left the dentist's office - and he was okay. He looked and seemed to feel the same way that I look and feel after a filling.
It's a comfort to know that nitrous oxide will be available to me - I wouldn't have to feel much fear during the procedure, if any. And afterwards, it would be over, so there'd be nothing to fear. It's just before that would be scary. That wouldn't be pleasant, but I'm sure I could handle it.
I'll turn 43 next week. I'm too old to let my life be ruled by fear. This has to stop.
And anyway, if I needed a root canal, wouldn't I feel some pain pretty often?
Sigh. My mother used to tell me horror stories when I was younger about her dental procedures. I wonder if that's part of the reason I still get nervous? Sebastian's as brave as can be at the dentist, although of course he hasn't had a painful experience there yet.
Time for me to sleep.
Not very nervous. Really not very nervous at all. It's just that I have an appointment for my regular six-month dental cleaning tomorrow at 5, and I'm a little bit on edge.
It's much better than it used to be, of course. In the old days I'd have been staying up all night, for weeks in advance, shivering in terror (and that's not an exaggeration). Now...well, between nitrous oxide, and my experience of many cleanings and a few fillings without trouble, I'm only very slightly nervous. My forehead is slightly beaded with sweat, but that may partly be because I'm sick.
I haven't had any more pain than before; my teeth twinge now and again, but they've been doing that for twenty years. And I know that I'm hypersensitive to tooth pain, and all too ready to panic. But I also know that I have a nasty sinus infection right now, and every pain I have is the same old pain I always have when I have a sinus infection. Logic tells me that there's every reason to expect that things will be fine tomorrow, just as they've always been.
But I'm still a little nervous.
If worse comes to worst, I suppose, I might need a root canal. There's a part of me that would almost welcome that - almost. I've been dreading that for years, and it would be good to be able to finally put that fear behind me forever. And at the moment, I'm less afraid of the prospect of a root canal than I've ever been. Partly because I know so many people who've had one and been okay. Partly because my dentist told me that from my perspective it wouldn't be any different than having a cavity filled (and I believe him). But even more because last year I saw a guy who'd just had two root canals - he'd literally just left the dentist's office - and he was okay. He looked and seemed to feel the same way that I look and feel after a filling.
It's a comfort to know that nitrous oxide will be available to me - I wouldn't have to feel much fear during the procedure, if any. And afterwards, it would be over, so there'd be nothing to fear. It's just before that would be scary. That wouldn't be pleasant, but I'm sure I could handle it.
I'll turn 43 next week. I'm too old to let my life be ruled by fear. This has to stop.
And anyway, if I needed a root canal, wouldn't I feel some pain pretty often?
Sigh. My mother used to tell me horror stories when I was younger about her dental procedures. I wonder if that's part of the reason I still get nervous? Sebastian's as brave as can be at the dentist, although of course he hasn't had a painful experience there yet.
Time for me to sleep.