One of those moments

[bobquasit]

Sitting next to Sebastian on the couch...

"Dad?"

"What is it, baby boy?"

"I love you."

(Pause for a moment while my heart melts, for the millionth time since he was born.)

"I love you too, Sebastian."

"Dad?"

"Yes, Sebastian?"

"Will you be my friend forever?"

(Make that a million and one.)

"You bet."

"Good."

---

Sappy? Sure. And I couldn't care less. This is one thing I'll never feel embarrassed about.

Comments

[nakedfaery.livejournal.com]

I remember having a similar feeling the first time Nathan said mama. I suffered from severe post natal depression, as my body deals very badly with fluctuating hormone levels. The first time he said Mama he looked at me and smiled at gripped my hand, and I burst into tears. I felt a massive wave of love wash over me and I knew from then on, I'd be alright. Before he'd been almost an inconvinience to me, and this one word, this one moment, completly changed the way I felt about him. Now, when I find myself getting down I just look at his little cherub face, and his grin, and listen to him calling for me, and I know that I will never again have any problem in loving him and being there for him.

Sappy as hell too, but we're parents. We have the right to be sappy :-P

[bobquasit.livejournal.com]

Post-natal depression? I assume that's the same thing that we call post-partum depression over here. Teri had it, too.

And it was absolutely hellish. You've got to wonder about a god, or gods, or an evolutionary process (or combination thereof) which would DO that to a mother. Ah well.

On a completely unrelated note, have you ever found that being a parent makes you think very differently about your own parents? I certainly do.

[nakedfaery.livejournal.com]

Yeah, post natal depression is the same thing. I suffered from depression in my teens, and I'm generally quite a pessimistic person, so it wasn't like I wasn't expecting it. However, I wasn't quite prepared for the full onslaught. I've been suicidal and violent at points, and even though it's improving now, as I'm on anti depressants, I wonder sometimes if it will ever leave. I love my son SOOO much, but sometimes parenthood just feels like one task after another, and there is no rest in between.

I find that being a parent definitely makes me feel different about my own parents. I appreciate a lot more how hard it must of been for them when I was a baby and they were financially very poorly off. It also made me appreciate what hard work it must have been to raise me, I was such a bitch in my teens! I still have fraught moments with my parents, but I definitely empathise with them a lot more now.

[bobquasit.livejournal.com]

Damn it! I just wrote a long response, hit the wrong key, and lost it all. I hate when that happens.

Anyway...

Interesting; Teri, too, has to deal with clinical depression. It sounds as if her part-partum depression (I wonder why the nomenclature is different?) wasn't quite as bad as yours, though; she never became violent.

Still, we all suffered quite a bit until we were able to get her a proper diagnosis and treatment. Particularly medication. Although I am quite leery about medication, in this case it was certainly a lifesaver.

...sometimes parenthood just feels like one task after another, and there is no rest in between.

I know what you mean! And it must be worse for you, I suppose; at least Teri and I can spell each other when necessary. We do try to make sure that each of us gets some time to rest and recuperate, even if it's only a couple of hours on a weekend morning.

We've been talking about the possibility of having another one, though, and that would probably make even the minimum of sleep impossible. My great-grandparents all had over 15 children apiece, and I honestly can't imagine how they coped.

If it's any comfort, it does get easier. Sebastian is much less work at four than he was at two. And of course every day you learn a little more.

I suspect that you're at one of the most difficult stages with Nathan; he's mobile, but not really capable of responsibility or restraint at this point. Not that Sebastian at four is a model of restraint!

I appreciate my parents more now, too. Although I was, I'd say, relatively easy to deal with; I had my problems, but I was unusually obedient and home-bound as a teen. I only hope that Sebastian inherits some of my tendency towards...I'll call it "good", for lack of a better word.