bobquasit | Cohousing?

I saw an article this morning in the Metro about something I'd never heard of before: cohousing. It's fascinating, because this goes to the heart of an issue I've been thinking about for a long time. Community.

I'm tired of living an isolated life. Human beings are social animals, and right now I feel cut off from society. I want to live in a real neighborhood, with people I know and like. I want children around for Sebastian to play with, to grow up with, and to not have to worry if he steps out of the house for a minute. I want friends nearby, next door...people to talk to, play with, hang out with.

Anyway, cohousing certainly sounds interesting. Okay, it sounds like it COULD be a bit like a commune, or even a little cult-like, I suppose. But interesting, too.

The article in the Metro was about a new cohousing group in the west-metro area. And it described them as "geeks with hobbies". It didn't mention the SCA by name, but clearly quite a few of them are into it.

Of course, I'm not an SCA guy, never have been, but the thought of living near a bunch of other roleplayers...wouldn't that be great?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

There are a number of cohousing folks in the area, though often they are not formal. A few of them are sort of polyamorous collectives, others are just families sharing resources (there's one out in Framingham that does that... but I think they are centered around homeschooling efforts for their kids). Others are more like a commune.

We looked into that a bit years ago before we moved to Cambridge... our problem was that nearly every one we ran into was outside the majority of the transit system in regards to locale, and thus not useful with the jobs our household members worked since we lacked vehicles.

I've heard that you can find even more of them in Vt, Conn. and NH than around the Boston Area. They tend to be drawn to places with cheap land available and less government interference in lives.

When I told Teri about cohousing yesterday, she insisted that it sounded like a cult.

The thought of a polyamorous cohousing, um, "village" - I'm not sure what to call it - is daunting. At least to me. But then, although I intellectually understand polyamory (I think), I have to admit that on an emotional level I don't quite get it. Perhaps because the only relationship I've ever had has been with a very jealous partner.

I have to admit that my ideal cohousing community would include relatives as well as friends. Something like the villages that some of my great-grandparents lived in, before the Ottomans came in and killed them all.

Of course, I'd want to be close to a city and have convenient public transportation.

"...nearly every one we ran into was outside the majority of the transit system in regards to locale..."

Really? According to the list (http://directory.cohousing.org/us_list/?action=search_results&locations[state_prov]=Massachusetts), there are two official cohousing communities in Cambridge and two in Boston. I can only imagine how much they cost, though.

Well one of the two (which is in North Cambridge) appears to be not what I would consider true cohousing, it seems (by its website) to be a Condo Complex with a fairly high ($579k) per unit cost and just a greater 'community' design in it's condo rules and condo association operation.

The other is more of a communal style community, up past porter square, but still a complex condo association that has a 'Communal House' that is used for meetings, optional group meals and such.

Neither of these appears to be centered around a vision statement of some specific group connection (like the SCA group, the polyhouseholds, the home schooling groups etc) that I observed some time ago. Whether there is any unpublished such connection I can't tell.

They are also both small by cohousing standards (1.5 acres). Most, like the group that the news article was on, are looking more at things like 10-50 acres of space to build on.

The concept of a Poly community cohousing project would not be that much different than setting up a religiously or otherwise connected group. The big thing in a Poly community is that housing units would have to be built with the concept of extended families, so that the individual units would be bigger that the cramped sort of space that units in the city have.

Remember we're living in about 900 square feet of space in our condo, with 3 adults and 2 bedrooms. This is actually considered big for condos in Cambridge (which are more around the 600-700 sq ft size). Insufficient for many poly families (especially if they have kids).

A poly family generally needs more personal space available, and a poly community would presumably have things like a good (supervised) place for the children in the community to socialize together in (sort of a youth center) and possibly a similar space for the adults at various times. Maybe also a 'guest house' that could be reserved for when having relatives visiting from out of state who would not be comfortable in the personal units.

Doing it right and on a reasonable scale can't help but be expensive, unfortunately, and for us that would always be a killer.

I dream of having the resources to set something like that up.

Kiralee

Yeah...I do too. Funny, Lois and I used to talk about doing that sort of thing, possibly in combination with her other idea of a permanent mini-convention.

And now that I think of it, I used to talk about the same sort of thing with my old gaming group back in college! I guess it speaks to some sort of basic human need. Interesting.

In any group living arrangement the problem I suppose is going to be the whole sharing of resources. Cohousing probably seperates stuff out enough so that maybe it's more like a friendly village than a commune. The one thing an Individual is going to object to is others making claims on what they consider to be their private stuff, or others hogging the shared stuff. I'd certainly prefer to have people of common interests as neighbors; on the other hand, there's a lot to be said for not having responsibilities. Oh well....

As far as I can tell, cohousing is not exactly "group living" - members own their own units (or houses). There are shared additional facilities - game rooms, playgrounds, that sort of thing - and the communities are designed to encourage maximum interaction. But the most "commune" like aspect is that there are 3-5 shared meals each week. I see no sign of shared property, or anything like that.

In a way, it sounds like a condo association crossed with...I'm not sure what. But in any case, it's far beyond my means, and will probably remain so forever.

Oh well.

Hi everyone,

I live in a co-housing community near Ithaca, NY. (www.ecovillage.ithaca.ny.us - check us out!) Co-housing is kind of a balance between privacy and community. I can't speak for all co-housing communities, but ours is definitely not a cult, a polyamory community, or a utopia (just regular people). I really liked the definition "a friendly village." We're about 2 miles from town, on a bus line.

Anyhow, there's lots of good info online. Good luck!

Happy co-housing resident in Ithaca

Cohousing?

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A report from a co-housing resident