Sebastian's Sixth, prologue

[bobquasit]

Sebastian has been promising stuff to kids at school. He apparently told his best friend that we'd be giving him and his brother a Wii. We felt bad, so we bought each of them a Webkinz. We told Sebastian NOT to promise things to anyone any more.

But it seems he simply couldn't resist. His birthday party on Sunday will be at Build A Bear; the kids are each going to get a "chocolate" or "vanilla" bear (not edible, these are actual teddy bears). But when we picked him up from school today we discovered that he'd promised an outfit for each bear as well.

We just can't afford that. We wouldn't have enough money to eat for the rest of the month if we did that!

He also promised one girl (who can't come to his party) a bear with a cheerleading outfit. She's his favorite, I think, and she likes him very much; it's so cute to see them playing together. So we're not sure what to do. We certainly hadn't planned to get bears for kids who didn't come to the party, after all! And if we buy it for her (which I'll admit we're tempted to do), we'll A) have a weird situation with the parents of the 3-4 other kids in his class who can't come to the party, and B) have a weird situation with her parents - they may feel obligated to buy him a gift after all.

It's an awkward situation. What would you do?

While I'm at it, another funny Sebastian thing: he insists that any small dog is a chihuahua. Vehemently.

Comments

a) don't give in if you can't afford to or shouldn't...

[happypete.livejournal.com]

okay, now that we've gotten this out of the way...you can't stop this behavior by saying "don't."

1) Search your heart and memory; are you observed by Sebastian of doing any of the things you are concerned with where he can see you or know about it. [The answer may be "of course not." I understand; because it so often is "Of course n...oh, CRUD, we are doing X!" I feel compelled to ask].

2) Find out if there is a fear, anxiety, or concern that Sebastian has if he just sticks to what is real. Instead of telling him what not to do, ask him "What do you think would happen if...[describe the behavior you expect, as specifically as possible]." In this case, it might be: "What would happen if you told people that only the kids that were going to his party were getting a 'chocolate' or 'vanilla' bear?" He might think that his friends would be upset about getting "only" the bear. Who knows? I'll tell you who: Sebastian.

3) Awww! Young love! I think you need to teach him a hard, necessary lesson, though: "Responsibility means delivering bad news as soon after you know it as you possibly can." Yeah...you already know what's coming next: "What do you think would happen if you told [favorite girl] that you were very sorry, and that you made a mistake when you promised her a cheerleader bear?" Be prepared for tears. I'd be there to help you all if I could.

On the chihuahua thing...pick your battles. ;)

[zarhooie.livejournal.com]

I don't know how much of an option this is, but perhaps, after the "offical" party, you could bring the kids back to the house and have a clothing workshop of sorts. You can get inexpensive fabric at Walmart, say, and cut out the pieces to make a tank top and pants/skirt. Get a couple different kinds of fabric so the kids can mix and match. Then show them how to "make" the clothes with a stapler. It won't be the same as the build-a-bear clothes, but then Sebastian will be keeping his promise and you won't have to pay out the ass.

Happy Birthday Sebastian!

[stairflight.livejournal.com]

Maybe get small favors (that don't contain lead paint, if you get my drift) for all the kids at school. When I was a kid I liked plastic rings with plastic gems.

[aurora-lamour.livejournal.com]

It's funny we are usually dealing with the opposite problem. My daughter is always bringing home things people give her -- and they really do just give her stuff all the time -- but not always with parental permission.

But I was worried about a similar thing with her last party whether we had to pay for "tag alongs" - older brothers or sisters or parents. I was told it was ok to let parents know what was included and what was not.