New Word Needed

[bobquasit]

The English language needs a new word.

I was listening to some story on NPR this morning. It was part 18 of a 20-part story about life on Cape Cod and how difficult it is for the poor and working-class.

I wish they'd pay one-TENTH as much attention to the poor and working-class in the rest of the country, but I'm sure it's hard for the media elite to empathize with us grubby commoners. Sorry, I'm in a cranky mood this morning.

Anyway, some guy they were interviewing was talking about how he's so lucky, he live on Cape Cod and he has great kids and a great girlfriend.

"WHAT?!?" I shouted mentally. Now, maybe those kids were from a previous marriage. But I'd bet not. And even if they were, there are lots of people who are, of course, having kids without getting married.

I'm old-fashioned, of course, but even I am not so old-fashioned as to condemn anyone for having children out of wedlock. But it seems to me that calling the mother of your children your "girlfriend" is just plain wrong.

So it's my conclusion that the English language needs a new word to denote a person you've reproduced with who is not, and never has been, your legal spouse. I hereby open the floor for suggestions.

Comments

[cakeinoz.livejournal.com]

hello there! I've found you through a search for choreg online (er, see my comment on an ancient entry of yours.) Now that I see that you're an Armenian who actually posts some recipes, AND in RI (the non-Armenian part of my family is from RI), I thought I might add you as a friend. I hope that's alright with you!

and as for the question here, I usually refer to my father's girlfriend of 15 years as his partner. I realize that in the US that tends to carry a connotation of homosexuality, but I can't help that. I still think it's a better term than 'girlfriend' for a member of a long-term relationship.

[bobquasit.livejournal.com]

Welcome to my tiny little flist! :D

A while ago I posted an Armenian recipe that's far more obscure than choreg. I daren't even try to spell it. Let me see...ah, here it is:

http://bobquasit.livejournal.com/75516.html

The problem with "partner" is that it has nothing to do with parenthood. I think we need a word to indicate a non-spouse with whom the speaker has reproduced. Co-parent? No, that's no good. Sounds like something from a twelve-step program.

I'll have to give it some more thought.

[janewilliams20.livejournal.com]

"Partner" seems to be the norm around here. More formally, "common-law spouse" might cover it?

[bobquasit.livejournal.com]

Common-law spouse?

Hmm. Maybe. But it still doesn't denote parenthood, and of course common law varies from place to place.

Plus I want it to be a word that gets used. Which means it needs to be relatively short. It should be something easy to say, so that people can say "Hi, this is my ________." without sounding like they're about to enter a legal brief. :D

[janewilliams20.livejournal.com]

The few people I know in that situation either use "partner" where they're living together, or "Freddie's father" where they're not. In some cases, "Freddie's biological father".

Relationships can get complicated when one has three kids, is living with Man A, and the kids are by men B, C, and D, none of whom were married to you at the time of the relevant kid's conception, but may have been at other times. Actually, now I think about it, the person I'm thinking of has five kids....

[klyfix.livejournal.com]

I wonder if there is a word for this in another language? English being the language it is we can just steal it. Assuming of course that it's pronounceable but then again we can just mangle the pronunciation.

On the other hand, a word for "mother of my children" without any note of if there was ever marriage is probably way more likely to exist. And to balance things we must have the word for the father of a woman's kids.

Technology could make things more complicated; what if the "mother of your chld" is an artificial womb and the egg an artificial construct?

[oldwolf.livejournal.com]

Genetic co-habiatant donor? Too wordy????

[aurora-lamour.livejournal.com]

We have this for the guys "babydaddy" and YES that is all one word.