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Love And Punishment
There were several questions on Askville this morning from guys who were dumped by women who tried to let them down easily. This is, of course, the most refined torture that a woman can inflict on a man; the ultimate punishment she can mete out to some poor idiot for committing the capital crime of not being compatible with her, or not attractive enough to suit her tastes.
Here's the advice I gave one suffering fellow:
There isn't quite a question here. But I'd say that she as trying to let you down easily. Unfortunately many women seem to prefer to try to dump a man without hurting his feelings. This is, of course, impossible; you can't dump someone without hurting them badly. That's why it's called "dumping"!
The problem is that when they try to phrase it so you'll still like them after they break up with you, they make it sound as if there's still a chance that things could work out for you two romantically. But there isn't. THERE IS NO CHANCE SHE WILL EVER, EVER be romantically involved with you again. At most, she might give you a few signs of affection out of pity and in a misguided attempt to cushion the pain of her dumping you. That gesture could include anything from a kiss on the cheek to one last instance of pity sex (if she's the trashy type). But in any case, it's over forever. It's time for you to move on.
I'm sorry; I know it hurts. And it will hurt, a lot, for a long time. But there are other women out there, and in time you'll find one. Get active, throw yourself into new projects, learn new things, try new things. In time, the pain will fade and your life will go on.
"Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them; but not for love." - William Shakespeare, As You Like It (Act 4, Scene 1)
Here's the advice I gave one suffering fellow:
There isn't quite a question here. But I'd say that she as trying to let you down easily. Unfortunately many women seem to prefer to try to dump a man without hurting his feelings. This is, of course, impossible; you can't dump someone without hurting them badly. That's why it's called "dumping"!
The problem is that when they try to phrase it so you'll still like them after they break up with you, they make it sound as if there's still a chance that things could work out for you two romantically. But there isn't. THERE IS NO CHANCE SHE WILL EVER, EVER be romantically involved with you again. At most, she might give you a few signs of affection out of pity and in a misguided attempt to cushion the pain of her dumping you. That gesture could include anything from a kiss on the cheek to one last instance of pity sex (if she's the trashy type). But in any case, it's over forever. It's time for you to move on.
I'm sorry; I know it hurts. And it will hurt, a lot, for a long time. But there are other women out there, and in time you'll find one. Get active, throw yourself into new projects, learn new things, try new things. In time, the pain will fade and your life will go on.
"Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them; but not for love." - William Shakespeare, As You Like It (Act 4, Scene 1)