Sigh...

There's a bit from an old National Lampoon that often goes through my head.

It's from the illustrated "Babar and His Enemies", and it starts "There is great sadness in Elephant Land, for the Old Lady is dead. King Babar has ordered that everyone must feel sorry, three times a day, on their knees."

Actually it didn't say "on their knees"; I added that in my memory. The illustration was of the Old Lady dead in a glass Mao-style coffin, surrounded by little monkees all on their knees around her at a respectful distance. Behind every monkee is an elephant-guard dressed in a red coat and tall fur hat, holding bayonets at the back of the monkeys' heads...

I just bought a DVD containing scans of every single issue of National Lampoon that was ever published - but it's not indexed. :(

Sigh...

There's a bit from an old National Lampoon that often goes through my head.

It's from the illustrated "Babar and His Enemies", and it starts "There is great sadness in Elephant Land, for the Old Lady is dead. King Babar has ordered that everyone must feel sorry, three times a day, on their knees."

Actually it didn't say "on their knees"; I added that in my memory. The illustration was of the Old Lady dead in a glass Mao-style coffin, surrounded by little monkees all on their knees around her at a respectful distance. Behind every monkee is an elephant-guard dressed in a red coat and tall fur hat, holding bayonets at the back of the monkeys' heads...

I just bought a DVD containing scans of every single issue of National Lampoon that was ever published - but it's not indexed. :(

Cars

Someone asked an anti-Obama question about the government owning GM (which is SOCIALISM!!!). I didn't feel like getting into it, so I was brief:

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Don't know. Don't care. If you're stupid enough to buy a GM car, you deserve whatever breakdowns you get.

---

She responded that I didn't seem to like GM, so I gave her a bit that I made up long ago:

---

In Japan, if a worker makes a bad car, he must ritually disembowel himself in order to extirpate the shame that he has brought upon his family. If an auto executive's company brings out a bad car, he does the same thing on national TV, so that all may see his disgrace.

In America, if a worker makes a bad car, he scratches his @ss and goes for a beer. If an executive is responsible for a bad car, he raises the price, runs more ads prominently featuring the American flag, and applies for a government bailout - which he gets. Then he turns around and uses some of that money to lobby the government to eliminate or delay safety features and fuel efficiency improvements (see Iacocca, Lee), thereby killing thousands of Americans, ruining the environment, and increasing our dependency on brutal Middle Eastern despots.

What's not to love?

Cars

Someone asked an anti-Obama question about the government owning GM (which is SOCIALISM!!!). I didn't feel like getting into it, so I was brief:

---

Don't know. Don't care. If you're stupid enough to buy a GM car, you deserve whatever breakdowns you get.

---

She responded that I didn't seem to like GM, so I gave her a bit that I made up long ago:

---

In Japan, if a worker makes a bad car, he must ritually disembowel himself in order to extirpate the shame that he has brought upon his family. If an auto executive's company brings out a bad car, he does the same thing on national TV, so that all may see his disgrace.

In America, if a worker makes a bad car, he scratches his @ss and goes for a beer. If an executive is responsible for a bad car, he raises the price, runs more ads prominently featuring the American flag, and applies for a government bailout - which he gets. Then he turns around and uses some of that money to lobby the government to eliminate or delay safety features and fuel efficiency improvements (see Iacocca, Lee), thereby killing thousands of Americans, ruining the environment, and increasing our dependency on brutal Middle Eastern despots.

What's not to love?