Breakfast Review

Teri and I went to breakfast this morning (Sebastian was with her mother). We couldn't decide where to go, so we finally ended up trying a new place: Yolks.

It has been there for a couple of years at least; the location was previously a Newport Creamery, but the filthiest Newport Creamery in the whole chain. Perhaps that's why we hadn't tried it before.

After we came home, I wrote the following review. It should go up in a week, if the site administrators don't block it.

Yolks - Restaurantica

A disaster. The host/busboy was friendly and polite, but he was wearing an armless shirt; a full view of hairy armpits is NOT the best way to start your breakfast.

The decaf was tolerable but not great. I'd give it a "4" at best. The waitress didn't ask if we wanted refills until we were ready to leave (we said “no”). Much of the rest of the food was inedible.

The Italian toast (a local specialty) was simply supermarket "Italian" bread (i.e. regular white bread with sesame seeds on top) toasted and buttered AFTER it had cooled so much that the butter didn’t melt.

The home fries were unpleasant. They were cooked well enough, but there was something odd-tasting about them. Heavy salting made it possible to eat about a third of the amount provided.

The corned beef hash was simply vile. I was once hospitalized with food poisoning from bad corned beef hash (at the otherwise good Coffee and Cream in North Smithfield, RI), but this tasted worse than that poisoned hash. The consistency was bizarre, more like pudding than anything else. And the flavor was horribly wrong. I ate one bite and knew that it was my last. My wife tasted it too, and said it tasted as if they'd put bad sausages in a blender on puree.

My wife's eggs benedict were overcooked. The ice water was fine. And that's about it. The cost was $12 and change, not counting tip.

I have to say that if you're looking for a good breakfast in the area you'd be far better off at the Bellingham Palace, which is about an eight-minute drive from Yolks.

Breakfast Review

Teri and I went to breakfast this morning (Sebastian was with her mother). We couldn't decide where to go, so we finally ended up trying a new place: Yolks.

It has been there for a couple of years at least; the location was previously a Newport Creamery, but the filthiest Newport Creamery in the whole chain. Perhaps that's why we hadn't tried it before.

After we came home, I wrote the following review. It should go up in a week, if the site administrators don't block it.

Yolks - Restaurantica

A disaster. The host/busboy was friendly and polite, but he was wearing an armless shirt; a full view of hairy armpits is NOT the best way to start your breakfast.

The decaf was tolerable but not great. I'd give it a "4" at best. The waitress didn't ask if we wanted refills until we were ready to leave (we said “no”). Much of the rest of the food was inedible.

The Italian toast (a local specialty) was simply supermarket "Italian" bread (i.e. regular white bread with sesame seeds on top) toasted and buttered AFTER it had cooled so much that the butter didn’t melt.

The home fries were unpleasant. They were cooked well enough, but there was something odd-tasting about them. Heavy salting made it possible to eat about a third of the amount provided.

The corned beef hash was simply vile. I was once hospitalized with food poisoning from bad corned beef hash (at the otherwise good Coffee and Cream in North Smithfield, RI), but this tasted worse than that poisoned hash. The consistency was bizarre, more like pudding than anything else. And the flavor was horribly wrong. I ate one bite and knew that it was my last. My wife tasted it too, and said it tasted as if they'd put bad sausages in a blender on puree.

My wife's eggs benedict were overcooked. The ice water was fine. And that's about it. The cost was $12 and change, not counting tip.

I have to say that if you're looking for a good breakfast in the area you'd be far better off at the Bellingham Palace, which is about an eight-minute drive from Yolks.