Oct. 16th, 2008

bobquasit: (Default)
Someone on Askville asked if Joe Sixpack and Joe the Plumber were the same person. I couldn't resist:


Joe Sixpack is Jane Winebox's husband (she kept her maiden name). To Jane's shock, she eventually discovered that Joe Sixpack was having an affair with Joe the Plumber. So she shot them both, and took off on a cross-country road trip to find herself. On the way she picked up Jane Q. Public, a soccer mom who had recently gotten amnesia from being hit in the head with a flying cliche at a NASCAR rally.

They were relentlessly pursued by Sheriff John Law. After an exciting chase across flyover country in the heartland of the homeland, they all plunged into the Grand Canyon and died. Politicians everywhere came to their funeral. Tears flowed like rain...or rather, like wine and beer.

The End.
bobquasit: (Default)
Someone on Askville asked if Joe Sixpack and Joe the Plumber were the same person. I couldn't resist:


Joe Sixpack is Jane Winebox's husband (she kept her maiden name). To Jane's shock, she eventually discovered that Joe Sixpack was having an affair with Joe the Plumber. So she shot them both, and took off on a cross-country road trip to find herself. On the way she picked up Jane Q. Public, a soccer mom who had recently gotten amnesia from being hit in the head with a flying cliche at a NASCAR rally.

They were relentlessly pursued by Sheriff John Law. After an exciting chase across flyover country in the heartland of the homeland, they all plunged into the Grand Canyon and died. Politicians everywhere came to their funeral. Tears flowed like rain...or rather, like wine and beer.

The End.
bobquasit: (Default)
The Republicans over on Asvkille are going fucking psychotic. Even I am amazed at the crazy shit they're making up in their Obama "questions".

This was my response to a question by one of them that claimed that all Democrats say that only racists won't vote for Obama:


I keep visualizing the Askville Republican Strike Team.

They're all worked up behind their keyboards in their parents' basements, slobber literally raining down from their open mouths as they make up ever more bizarre questions to imply that Obama is an uppity black power terrorist child molester drug fiend pimp Communist with lesbian tendencies, and that all Democrats are morons and moral degenerates. All while they piously proclaim that they are true independents in the spirit of the Founding Fathers, and decrying the vicious partisanship that the Democrats are constantly inflicting on the sweet, innocent, responsible, wise, and patriotic Republican Party.

I also imagine that their blood pressure shoots up at least twenty points for every point that McCain drops behind in the polls. I have to admit that this amuses me, even though I'm not voting for Obama.

If (okay, probably when) McCain loses, I have to wonder what's going to happen to these disturbed souls. Will they simply drop dead, their hearts exploding out of their chests in one last gory technicolor display? Will they take the last step into complete paranoia, and end up naked wearing a tinfoil hat on a rooftop someplace, taking potshots at every black man they see until the police come to put them away? Will they turn on each other like rabid dogs locked in a very small room? Or will they just take the last step and disassociate from reality completely, entering a state of full catatonia?

One thing I doubt very much is that any of them will become sane. Most likely, they'll just keep on doing the same crazy stuff they've been doing all along. But as the country deals with the utter ruination that their policies have brought to us all, they won't get anywhere near as much attention as they're used to. They'll go from being a tumor on the body politic, to a pimple - the difference being, of course, that now thanks to them the nation is a lot closer to destruction!



I take a peek over at Free Republic every so often, just for laughs. Today I saw a thread which was so mind-bogglingly out of touch that it amazed me. A poster claimed that the Democrats were praying night and day because they knew they were doomed to lose the election. How long had they been doomed? Ever since Sarah Palin was nominated.

"Who do they pray to?" another poster asked. "We know that it's not Jesus."

"Allah," came the inevitable reply.
bobquasit: (Default)
The Republicans over on Asvkille are going fucking psychotic. Even I am amazed at the crazy shit they're making up in their Obama "questions".

This was my response to a question by one of them that claimed that all Democrats say that only racists won't vote for Obama:


I keep visualizing the Askville Republican Strike Team.

They're all worked up behind their keyboards in their parents' basements, slobber literally raining down from their open mouths as they make up ever more bizarre questions to imply that Obama is an uppity black power terrorist child molester drug fiend pimp Communist with lesbian tendencies, and that all Democrats are morons and moral degenerates. All while they piously proclaim that they are true independents in the spirit of the Founding Fathers, and decrying the vicious partisanship that the Democrats are constantly inflicting on the sweet, innocent, responsible, wise, and patriotic Republican Party.

I also imagine that their blood pressure shoots up at least twenty points for every point that McCain drops behind in the polls. I have to admit that this amuses me, even though I'm not voting for Obama.

If (okay, probably when) McCain loses, I have to wonder what's going to happen to these disturbed souls. Will they simply drop dead, their hearts exploding out of their chests in one last gory technicolor display? Will they take the last step into complete paranoia, and end up naked wearing a tinfoil hat on a rooftop someplace, taking potshots at every black man they see until the police come to put them away? Will they turn on each other like rabid dogs locked in a very small room? Or will they just take the last step and disassociate from reality completely, entering a state of full catatonia?

One thing I doubt very much is that any of them will become sane. Most likely, they'll just keep on doing the same crazy stuff they've been doing all along. But as the country deals with the utter ruination that their policies have brought to us all, they won't get anywhere near as much attention as they're used to. They'll go from being a tumor on the body politic, to a pimple - the difference being, of course, that now thanks to them the nation is a lot closer to destruction!



I take a peek over at Free Republic every so often, just for laughs. Today I saw a thread which was so mind-bogglingly out of touch that it amazed me. A poster claimed that the Democrats were praying night and day because they knew they were doomed to lose the election. How long had they been doomed? Ever since Sarah Palin was nominated.

"Who do they pray to?" another poster asked. "We know that it's not Jesus."

"Allah," came the inevitable reply.
bobquasit: (Default)
It has gotten awfully quiet here lately! Is everyone in a state of silent terror because of the economy, I wonder?
bobquasit: (Default)
It has gotten awfully quiet here lately! Is everyone in a state of silent terror because of the economy, I wonder?

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