It is an ancient porn-addict, he stoppeth one of three

Someone over on Askville is annoyed because her 83-year-old father-in-law has become an internet porn addict. He's asking his son to clean up his (infected?) system about once a month. For some reason, she's thinking of getting him a gift subscription to a porno magazine. Not as a nice gesture, though - she wants him to "freak out", presumably so he'll stop with the porn.

Someone pointed out that that didn't seem to make a lot of sense. I'd been thinking the same thing, so:

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Yeah, I was basically of two minds about that:

1. He's 83. Death is staring him square in the nuts. And she thinks a little unexpected porn is going to scare him?

2. He's 83. He gets an unexpected magazine in the mail, discretely enclosed in a plain brown wrapper. He opens it, and inside there's a woman doing terrible things with a watermelon, a goat, a five-piece klezmer band, and a salad fork. He clutches his chest. "Elizabeth!" he screams, "I'm coming, in a non-punning sense of the word!". He collapses with a cardiac embolism and dies.

Weeks later, the will is read. KiwiMom is surprised and delighted that her husband is the sole beneficiary. Unfortunately the entire inheritance turns out to be a collection of stained and sticky vintage porn, circa 1920 - 1940.

Seven tons of ancient porn. And the most disturbing thing is that her husband wants to keep it all. Like father, like son!

It is an ancient porn-addict, he stoppeth one of three

Someone over on Askville is annoyed because her 83-year-old father-in-law has become an internet porn addict. He's asking his son to clean up his (infected?) system about once a month. For some reason, she's thinking of getting him a gift subscription to a porno magazine. Not as a nice gesture, though - she wants him to "freak out", presumably so he'll stop with the porn.

Someone pointed out that that didn't seem to make a lot of sense. I'd been thinking the same thing, so:

---

Yeah, I was basically of two minds about that:

1. He's 83. Death is staring him square in the nuts. And she thinks a little unexpected porn is going to scare him?

2. He's 83. He gets an unexpected magazine in the mail, discretely enclosed in a plain brown wrapper. He opens it, and inside there's a woman doing terrible things with a watermelon, a goat, a five-piece klezmer band, and a salad fork. He clutches his chest. "Elizabeth!" he screams, "I'm coming, in a non-punning sense of the word!". He collapses with a cardiac embolism and dies.

Weeks later, the will is read. KiwiMom is surprised and delighted that her husband is the sole beneficiary. Unfortunately the entire inheritance turns out to be a collection of stained and sticky vintage porn, circa 1920 - 1940.

Seven tons of ancient porn. And the most disturbing thing is that her husband wants to keep it all. Like father, like son!