Swen? Not Swen?

Last night I contacted McAfee tech support for help with my ongoing virus problem. Reaching a technician on live internet chat took only a minute. They helped me fix the problem, and my computer is now virus-free.

Okay, that was the science fiction portion of my journal today. Here's the reality:

For some reason it took even longer to reach the top of the queue in McAfee's tech support chat than before - in this case, it was nearly two hours. I reached a technician that I'd spoken to before - okay, wait. I've now dealt with four different McAfee technicians, and I have to say that I have the strong suspicion that they do not use their real names with customers. Either that, or McAfee is only hiring people with names that sounds very much like those of movie stars without being precisely the same.

Actually, it reminds me of when I was working in the porno business (I did data entry for six months as a temp, if you were wondering). Anyone in the office who had to deal with the public had a fake name, like "Vic Steele" or "Candi Boxx" (note: I just made up those names, so if there are real porno stars with those names, it's just a coincidence. Okay, I just Googled. Vic Steele was a guitarist for the Hollies, but I am amazed to see that there IS NO Candi Boxx. I can't imagine a better name for a porno star).

Mind you, the people in the office were NOT porno stars (although one girl was really cute) - they were just helping people with their orders, just like CS reps in any other office. Except the orders were for things like the "Talking Heavenly Angel with optional heat, vibration, and built-in cassette player", or the "Double Intruder".

Oh, the stories I could tell...

Back to McAfee. At this point I'd already chatted with four other agents, and tried VirusScan, VirusScan in safe mode, a special Scan program which couldn't run due to memory problems (got to wonder why, since my system has half a gig), and a program called Stinger. Stinger seemed to make some things better, but I was still getting pop-up warning boxes from McAfee about the same set of infected files which had supposedly already been deleted twenty times over by McAfee.

Anyway, I opened the continuing ticket and after two hours was chatting with a tech. He opened with the usual canned responses - okay, time for another digression.

"Hi, this is [name]. I can help you." That's one of the stupidest *^+&ing things a person can say. How do you KNOW you can help me? You don't. And that's the sort of thing that sounds REALLY LAME the fifth time you hear it for the same problem. The previous four times didn't work, so let's lay off the canned confidence, eh?

I know, they don't really have a choice. They're practically robots, after all; I know that 99% of the time they aren't actually typing anything, they're just sending pre-programmed phrases off a menu. True, the phrases have my name inserted at appropriate points (i.e. "Thank you, Peter"), but that's because at the start of the chat I'm required to enter my first and last names; it's all automated.

Which everyone knows, of course. This isn't a big secret. But I have to admit that it's a little annoying somehow. Every technician I've dealt with has used the exact same preprogrammed phrases, and it always comes off as totally phoney. They should build a little variation into the menu, just to make the techs sound human.

Actually, during some of the long waits I started pre-writing some of my own responses in a text file. I copied and pasted answers into the chat as needed. Partly, of course, I had to guess what they would ask me. More often than not I guessed right. I also saved copies of answers to new questions, for use next time if needed (and so far, they always have been). It passed the time.

"Peter, I would be happy to help you eliminate that virus."

"Okay..." Perhaps I should have sounded more upbeat, but with three failures behind me (each preceeded by the very same phrase) I think a little dubiousness can be forgiven.

So this time they had me download yet another program, an emergency bootscan program which needed to be saved to a floppy and then run in DOS mode. I grabbed a floppy and gave it a try.

I ran it for both the C and D drives, and each time it reported that it had scanned six or seven files (all clean), and for no specified reason had left an additional 26-27 files unscanned. Supposedly none of the files were infected. I restarted Windows, and things seemed pretty good.

But of course when I started up my PC this morning the virus warnings were back. Looks like I'll be chatting with McAfee for the fifth time tonight - but this time I simply won't stay up so late. Last night I was up until 1AM trying to fix this thing, the same as the night before - and I have to get up at 5AM on weekdays. I'm way too old to take three four-hour nights in a row.

Oh yeah, about Swen: the tech last night claimed that the virus was NOT Swen. I can see why, since it only displays some of the Swen characteristcs. However, he didn't tell me what he thought it was.

Of course, he probably didn't know since he wasn't able to remove it.

Swen? Not Swen?

Last night I contacted McAfee tech support for help with my ongoing virus problem. Reaching a technician on live internet chat took only a minute. They helped me fix the problem, and my computer is now virus-free.

Okay, that was the science fiction portion of my journal today. Here's the reality:

For some reason it took even longer to reach the top of the queue in McAfee's tech support chat than before - in this case, it was nearly two hours. I reached a technician that I'd spoken to before - okay, wait. I've now dealt with four different McAfee technicians, and I have to say that I have the strong suspicion that they do not use their real names with customers. Either that, or McAfee is only hiring people with names that sounds very much like those of movie stars without being precisely the same.

Actually, it reminds me of when I was working in the porno business (I did data entry for six months as a temp, if you were wondering). Anyone in the office who had to deal with the public had a fake name, like "Vic Steele" or "Candi Boxx" (note: I just made up those names, so if there are real porno stars with those names, it's just a coincidence. Okay, I just Googled. Vic Steele was a guitarist for the Hollies, but I am amazed to see that there IS NO Candi Boxx. I can't imagine a better name for a porno star).

Mind you, the people in the office were NOT porno stars (although one girl was really cute) - they were just helping people with their orders, just like CS reps in any other office. Except the orders were for things like the "Talking Heavenly Angel with optional heat, vibration, and built-in cassette player", or the "Double Intruder".

Oh, the stories I could tell...

Back to McAfee. At this point I'd already chatted with four other agents, and tried VirusScan, VirusScan in safe mode, a special Scan program which couldn't run due to memory problems (got to wonder why, since my system has half a gig), and a program called Stinger. Stinger seemed to make some things better, but I was still getting pop-up warning boxes from McAfee about the same set of infected files which had supposedly already been deleted twenty times over by McAfee.

Anyway, I opened the continuing ticket and after two hours was chatting with a tech. He opened with the usual canned responses - okay, time for another digression.

"Hi, this is [name]. I can help you." That's one of the stupidest *^+&ing things a person can say. How do you KNOW you can help me? You don't. And that's the sort of thing that sounds REALLY LAME the fifth time you hear it for the same problem. The previous four times didn't work, so let's lay off the canned confidence, eh?

I know, they don't really have a choice. They're practically robots, after all; I know that 99% of the time they aren't actually typing anything, they're just sending pre-programmed phrases off a menu. True, the phrases have my name inserted at appropriate points (i.e. "Thank you, Peter"), but that's because at the start of the chat I'm required to enter my first and last names; it's all automated.

Which everyone knows, of course. This isn't a big secret. But I have to admit that it's a little annoying somehow. Every technician I've dealt with has used the exact same preprogrammed phrases, and it always comes off as totally phoney. They should build a little variation into the menu, just to make the techs sound human.

Actually, during some of the long waits I started pre-writing some of my own responses in a text file. I copied and pasted answers into the chat as needed. Partly, of course, I had to guess what they would ask me. More often than not I guessed right. I also saved copies of answers to new questions, for use next time if needed (and so far, they always have been). It passed the time.

"Peter, I would be happy to help you eliminate that virus."

"Okay..." Perhaps I should have sounded more upbeat, but with three failures behind me (each preceeded by the very same phrase) I think a little dubiousness can be forgiven.

So this time they had me download yet another program, an emergency bootscan program which needed to be saved to a floppy and then run in DOS mode. I grabbed a floppy and gave it a try.

I ran it for both the C and D drives, and each time it reported that it had scanned six or seven files (all clean), and for no specified reason had left an additional 26-27 files unscanned. Supposedly none of the files were infected. I restarted Windows, and things seemed pretty good.

But of course when I started up my PC this morning the virus warnings were back. Looks like I'll be chatting with McAfee for the fifth time tonight - but this time I simply won't stay up so late. Last night I was up until 1AM trying to fix this thing, the same as the night before - and I have to get up at 5AM on weekdays. I'm way too old to take three four-hour nights in a row.

Oh yeah, about Swen: the tech last night claimed that the virus was NOT Swen. I can see why, since it only displays some of the Swen characteristcs. However, he didn't tell me what he thought it was.

Of course, he probably didn't know since he wasn't able to remove it.

Proof Bush stole the election

This is a wonderful bit of information. I'd put it in a comment a while ago, but it deserves its own entry; it's the kind of information Democrats need to show the rest of the country just how illegitimate the Bush junta is.

It's the Florida law regarding how votes should be counted. The title links to the original statute on the official Florida state government website, so it's as well-documented as it could possibly be.

Title IX, Ch. 101.5614

If any paper ballot is damaged or defective so that it cannot be counted properly by the automatic tabulating equipment, the ballot shall be counted manually at the counting center by the canvassing board. The totals for all such ballots or ballot cards counted manually shall be added to the totals for the several precincts or election districts. No vote shall be declared invalid or void if there is a clear indication of the intent of the voter as determined by the canvassing board. After duplicating a ballot, the defective ballot shall be placed in an envelope provided for that purpose, and the duplicate ballot shall be tallied with the other ballots for that precinct.

Right-wingers will find some way to spin and ignore this clear truth, but there really can't be any question any more: Florida was required by its own law to count the overvotes, and if overvotes were counted then Gore won. The conservatives on the Supreme Court really did violate their oaths of office by overturning the election and the will of the American people. Bush, of course, had already violated his oath of "office" before he'd even taken it...as well as hundreds of times afterwords, of course.

Proof Bush stole the election

This is a wonderful bit of information. I'd put it in a comment a while ago, but it deserves its own entry; it's the kind of information Democrats need to show the rest of the country just how illegitimate the Bush junta is.

It's the Florida law regarding how votes should be counted. The title links to the original statute on the official Florida state government website, so it's as well-documented as it could possibly be.

Title IX, Ch. 101.5614

If any paper ballot is damaged or defective so that it cannot be counted properly by the automatic tabulating equipment, the ballot shall be counted manually at the counting center by the canvassing board. The totals for all such ballots or ballot cards counted manually shall be added to the totals for the several precincts or election districts. No vote shall be declared invalid or void if there is a clear indication of the intent of the voter as determined by the canvassing board. After duplicating a ballot, the defective ballot shall be placed in an envelope provided for that purpose, and the duplicate ballot shall be tallied with the other ballots for that precinct.

Right-wingers will find some way to spin and ignore this clear truth, but there really can't be any question any more: Florida was required by its own law to count the overvotes, and if overvotes were counted then Gore won. The conservatives on the Supreme Court really did violate their oaths of office by overturning the election and the will of the American people. Bush, of course, had already violated his oath of "office" before he'd even taken it...as well as hundreds of times afterwords, of course.

Poor Daddy Car

So on Saturday the 27th we had to junk the Honda. Sebastian didn't really understand what was going on, but his heart was broken anyway; for some reason he's always loved that car. Since the second cylinder went it has just been sitting out on the street, but he would often look out at it through the window and talk about it.

I'd tell him that it was broken, and he'd say "Daddy, fix!". "Can't fix!" I'd answer, which confused him. I guess he doesn't yet realize that there are things that I can't do.

When we'd go for a drive he usually asked for Daddy Car; he hated the Neon, which he called "Mommy Car" ("No like Mommy Car!"). He seems to be okay with the new van, by the way.

As I wrote before, the car was rammed on Wednesday. The cops noticed that the registration was expired, so we had it towed to the salvage lot on Saturday before the cops could get around to towing it themselves. Before the tow truck arrived, though, I took a few last pictures:


Here it is sitting on the street opposite our house, right where it was rammed. If you look carefully you can see that the back bumper is detached somewhat from the body.


A closeup of that bumper. Kind of a waste of time, since I didn't press charges.


The back of the car. That's our front yard fence in the background. The gray curved line in the back window is the interior trimming; it started falling off a while ago. I kept sticking it back in place, but it wouldn't stay.

All in all it was a good car. I'm kind of silly about inanimate things sometimes; if something has served me well I actually grieve a bit if it is damaged or destroyed. Sebastian seems to feel the same way. He sobbed and sobbed all the way to the junkyard, as we followed the tow truck: "Poor Daddy Car!"

When we got home at first he insisted that Daddy Car was still there, but when he went out front he couldn't find it and got sad. Teri told him that the car had a boo-boo and needed to be fixed, but that maybe it couldn't be fixed. That kind of went over his head. Since then he still asks about the car sometimes when he looks out the window.

I wish I'd taken a photo of him inside the car. Oh well.

Bye bye, Daddy Car.

Poor Daddy Car

So on Saturday the 27th we had to junk the Honda. Sebastian didn't really understand what was going on, but his heart was broken anyway; for some reason he's always loved that car. Since the second cylinder went it has just been sitting out on the street, but he would often look out at it through the window and talk about it.

I'd tell him that it was broken, and he'd say "Daddy, fix!". "Can't fix!" I'd answer, which confused him. I guess he doesn't yet realize that there are things that I can't do.

When we'd go for a drive he usually asked for Daddy Car; he hated the Neon, which he called "Mommy Car" ("No like Mommy Car!"). He seems to be okay with the new van, by the way.

As I wrote before, the car was rammed on Wednesday. The cops noticed that the registration was expired, so we had it towed to the salvage lot on Saturday before the cops could get around to towing it themselves. Before the tow truck arrived, though, I took a few last pictures:


Here it is sitting on the street opposite our house, right where it was rammed. If you look carefully you can see that the back bumper is detached somewhat from the body.


A closeup of that bumper. Kind of a waste of time, since I didn't press charges.


The back of the car. That's our front yard fence in the background. The gray curved line in the back window is the interior trimming; it started falling off a while ago. I kept sticking it back in place, but it wouldn't stay.

All in all it was a good car. I'm kind of silly about inanimate things sometimes; if something has served me well I actually grieve a bit if it is damaged or destroyed. Sebastian seems to feel the same way. He sobbed and sobbed all the way to the junkyard, as we followed the tow truck: "Poor Daddy Car!"

When we got home at first he insisted that Daddy Car was still there, but when he went out front he couldn't find it and got sad. Teri told him that the car had a boo-boo and needed to be fixed, but that maybe it couldn't be fixed. That kind of went over his head. Since then he still asks about the car sometimes when he looks out the window.

I wish I'd taken a photo of him inside the car. Oh well.

Bye bye, Daddy Car.

Sign Stupidity

Sign from the gas pumps in front of the Cumberland Farms near my house (I believe they're Gulf, maybe Citgo). Can you spot the error?

Sign Stupidity

Sign from the gas pumps in front of the Cumberland Farms near my house (I believe they're Gulf, maybe Citgo). Can you spot the error?