The Diary of A Simple Man

Where the hell IS everybody?

Back in the glory days of SCTV, John Candy played Melonville Mayor Tommy Shanks. A "Special Announcement from Mayor Tommy Shanks" would interrupt the programming, and the amazingly relaxed Tommy would appear, sitting in an armchair next to a crackling fire, wearing a cardigan and surrounded by stuffed dogs. "Hi. How are ya?", he's say, "I'm doing pretty good myself. Well, good night."

Then he'd try to get a stuffed dog to roll over, or eat a biscuit, or something. Just in case it wasn't clear, Tommy Shanks was completely insane.

I think it was during the Mellonville mayoral elections that Tommy Shanks got commited to an insane asylum. His next special announcement featured him trussed up in a straitjacket, sitting in an institutional bathtub. He stared at the camera with ferocious yet mild intensity and said "Get me out of here."

Get me out of here.

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Truly, I am the most pathetic person on LJ.