Me and my damn wisecracks

As Teri and I were driving out of Providence after doing the Antiques Road Show, we passed a large festival downtown. "What's all that?" I said, and then moments later saw a huge "Day of Pride" sign on the rostrum.

"Why don't they ever have a 'Day of Shame'?" I wondered.

And then the old joke about "Children's Day", came back to me.

"I know! Because every day is a Day of Shame!"

(Do I need to assert my support for gay rights now? Take it as read, please. I just love wordplay, okay?)

Me and my damn wisecracks

As Teri and I were driving out of Providence after doing the Antiques Road Show, we passed a large festival downtown. "What's all that?" I said, and then moments later saw a huge "Day of Pride" sign on the rostrum.

"Why don't they ever have a 'Day of Shame'?" I wondered.

And then the old joke about "Children's Day", came back to me.

"I know! Because every day is a Day of Shame!"

(Do I need to assert my support for gay rights now? Take it as read, please. I just love wordplay, okay?)

Being Bad

About the Antiques Road Show: I have to admit that I got a little bad while I was standing around in line. A woman was pushing an older woman, probably her mother, through the line in a wheelchair; I couldn't help whispering into Teri's ear "A fine old piece, but you can see that it hasn't been well cared for. The surface has turned yellow and wrinkly, and the hair is hopeless - it doesn't even look real any more. Of course, the legs are completely shot, too. You might get an offer of $15 on the open market."

Another cheap joke: "By the time we get to the end of the line, I'm going to be an antique!"

Being Bad

About the Antiques Road Show: I have to admit that I got a little bad while I was standing around in line. A woman was pushing an older woman, probably her mother, through the line in a wheelchair; I couldn't help whispering into Teri's ear "A fine old piece, but you can see that it hasn't been well cared for. The surface has turned yellow and wrinkly, and the hair is hopeless - it doesn't even look real any more. Of course, the legs are completely shot, too. You might get an offer of $15 on the open market."

Another cheap joke: "By the time we get to the end of the line, I'm going to be an antique!"

On Harvard Square

This was part of a comment that I made elsewhere, but after I posted it, it made me laugh. Anything I write that makes me laugh should be re-posted here, don't you think?

I haven't been to Harvard Square in ages...it's just too depressing. It's like looking at the long-dead corpse of a beloved, cool old friend, rotting and deliquescent, painted white, wearing a blonde wig, and generally made up to look like Brittany Spears by a greedy rich bastard who's whoring the corpse for a profit.

And then some morons come by and say "Wow! It's Brittany Spears! And I can bang her for only $300? This is the coolest thing ever!"

Check it out: I spelled "deliquescent" right without looking it up! Am I Cthulhu-esque or what?

On Harvard Square

This was part of a comment that I made elsewhere, but after I posted it, it made me laugh. Anything I write that makes me laugh should be re-posted here, don't you think?

I haven't been to Harvard Square in ages...it's just too depressing. It's like looking at the long-dead corpse of a beloved, cool old friend, rotting and deliquescent, painted white, wearing a blonde wig, and generally made up to look like Brittany Spears by a greedy rich bastard who's whoring the corpse for a profit.

And then some morons come by and say "Wow! It's Brittany Spears! And I can bang her for only $300? This is the coolest thing ever!"

Check it out: I spelled "deliquescent" right without looking it up! Am I Cthulhu-esque or what?