The Diary of A Simple Man

Couldn't resist commenting over on the Washington Post site about a couple of comics today:

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Wilkinson's comic is a bit inaccurate. Instead of the Democratic donkey and George W. Bush trying to strangle each other in the Oval Office, it should have shown the Democratic Donkey bent over and taking it up the ass from George, same as it always does.

And as for Glenn McCoy...why doesn't he just march over to the White House and give George W. a blowjob? You know he wants to!

You know what I like to do? Write nasty, mocking comments on articles by neocons in the Washington Post. Why? Because I think there's a good chance that the egocentric assholes will read them. This morning I dashed off this comment on some lame-brained smog article by former George W. Bush speechwriter and recently-accused plagarist Michael Gerson. I wasn't the only one who was surprised to see a man accused of plagarism in the national media only a few days ago writing an opinion piece for the Post...

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If you enjoyed this article, here are some other works by Michael Gerson that you might enjoy:

"War and Peace" by Michael Gerson
"A Tale of Two Cities" by Michael Gerson
"Hamlet" by Michael Gerson
"The Catcher In The Rye" by Michael Gerson
"The Bible" by Michael Gerson

Fred Hiatt and the Washington Post are proud to bring you credible, honest writers such as Michael Gerson.

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The Post seems determined to become an even bigger joke than it already was, if that's possible. Here's hoping Gerson reads my comments and has his feelings hurt, at least a little.

My sarcasm mode is on high today.

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My comment on Pistachios at Guantanamo by Jackson Diehl

"Yes, I was on a tour organized by the Pentagon; but no, the scene I witnessed was not a staged departure from a norm of pressure and pain."

And how do we know that this is true? Why, because Jackson Diehl SAYS so, of course!

His handlers doubtless told him so, and naturally be believes them. Because the government and the Pentagon never, ever, EVER lie to journalists. NEVER.

Hey, Jackson! Did you know that the Pentagon has specifically cleared the airspace approach to Guantanamo on midnight of December 24, so Santa Claus can bring the prisoners lots of yummy treats? Santa's going to show those prisoners the true meaning of Christmas. They're sure to convert to Christianity after that, and tell our hot teen-aged treat-serving mini-skirted interrogators everything they want to know.

You can believe me, Jackson. I work for the Pentagon.

...and they say journalistic credibility is dead!

The Washington Post has finally upgraded their comment boards to allow the use of standard punctuation - but they're using the opportunity to crack down on commenters by getting more information about them. One of their columnists published a long whine about the necessity for making commenters use their real names (incidentally referencing my home town, Westport, CT), and I couldn't resist commenting:

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"Courts have ruled that both anonymous and pseudonymous posters have 'qualified privilege' under the First Amendment that protects their identities and puts a high legal bar in front of subpoena seekers."

HAHAHAHA! Excuse me while I try to regain control of my bladder. Mr. Grubisich is a comedian of rare talent.

It wouldn't be so funny if the last six years hadn't documented so conclusively that the vast majority of ISPs and webhosts couldn't be more eager to release any user information they can, without requiring the government to say so much as "please".

Not to mention the Bush Administration's frequently-demonstrated penchant for attacking and destroying whistle-blowers by any and all means possible. Valerie Plame, anyone? And she's just one among many. But perhaps Mr. Grubisich doesn't read the Post.

Seriously, if Post staff and columnists had spent ONE-TENTH as much time and effort investigating and exposing the Bush Administration's pre-war claims about WMD as they do whining about bloggers and commenters, we probably wouldn't be in Iraq now and many thousands of people would be alive and unmaimed - including, of course, many US troops.

But that's not important, of course. No, what really matters is that the big bad anonymous world of internet commenters is sometimes RUDE and DISRESPECTFUL of Washington Post columnists and reporters. Why, some of them even fail to drop to their knees and tug their forelocks when David Broder issues another "Bush Rebound" pronouncement from his perch high up on Credibility Mountain!

The mere thought of it makes me weep. There, Mr. Grubisich - your post has moved me to both tears and laughter. Surely you've earned your salary today!